Columbia Heights boys' basketball coach Willie Braziel observed his players' frustrations during last Friday's game and called timeout to get their minds right.
"Control your emotions," Braziel hollered. "They are just waiting for you to do something so they can call a technical. And if you get a technical, walk this way because you're going to be done for the night."
The Hylanders' starters appeared to get Braziel's message.
Reserve forward Toby Frisby, however, has lived it.
Frisby, a senior captain in football and basketball, never let hard times show. Family problems left him homeless for stretches of his high school career. He lived in extended-stay hotels, a shelter in St. Paul and with friends. Food was sometimes in short supply. He's worn donated clothes and played basketball with inadequate, tattered shoes.
The reward came last week when Frisby signed a National Letter of Intent to play football at Winona State. Frisby, who was also voted homecoming king, serves a vital role as a leader by example for the Hylanders basketball team (14-4), a group in the hunt for its first state tournament appearance since 1930.
The future he long dreamed about has arrived.
"As stuff got more difficult, I realized that stuff isn't always going to be easy and you have to make the best of what you've got," Frisby said. "The whole time I would think, 'This is just temporary. It's not going to last forever. There's stuff ahead of me.'"
Hylanders assistant coach Dedrick Jenkins is a Ramsey County probation officer who sees kids handed similar circumstances. The difference, he said, is Frisby's choice to stay involved in school and athletics and avoid taking shortcuts through gangs and drugs.
"It just hurts that a young man has to go through what Toby went through," Jenkins said. "But a kid that has that drive to overcome all odds -- you just take your hat off to him."
Jenkins arrived with head coach Willie Braziel in November 2007. They remember Frisby as a large, quiet sophomore who said little and asked for less. Braziel said Frisby wore shoes "that you couldn't even play in," but he could not afford to upgrade. Another sign of trouble came when Frisby was reluctant to turn in an emergency contact card because he did not have a permanent address.
Sophomore year was the height of Frisby's drama. He lived out of an extended-stay hotel in Brooklyn Center for most of the football and basketball seasons. In the spring, his family moved to a shelter in St. Paul, forcing him to rise at 5:30 a.m., so he could take a bus to the light rail station, then catch a second bus from downtown Minneapolis to Columbia Heights.
Frisby went to great lengths to meet other basic needs. Knowing he had to make his meals last longer into the day, he would get the last spot in the lunch line to ensure himself the best chance at larger portions. And he learned the value of a dollar, saving whatever money he had in order to "always have at least $5 in my pocket."
Frisby's family moved several months later to a St. Paul apartment. While his surroundings improved, the commute remained an obstacle. So Frisby stayed with a friend whose family owned a house in Columbia Heights. Last winter, he moved in with his girlfriend and her family near the school.
Some of those details will come as a surprise to many teammates, who are likely learning of them for the first time. D'Karlos Craig, a football and basketball teammate who knows more than most about Frisby, said he thinks of him as a brother.
"We're really close," Craig said. "My mom, my dad, everybody thinks of him as a family member."
Through it all, the 6-2, 280-pound Frisby performed in the classroom and stood out as a defensive tackle for the Hylanders. While he sees much less action during basketball games (Frisby averages 2.6 points per game), he is the guy coaches text message to help get players to show up on time. Braziel called Frisby "the most respected player on our team and one of the kids in that sophomore class who helped turn the program around."
Said senior Jacob Thomas, who will play next season for Division I Long Beach State: "He's always into the game 110 percent. He's not playing, but he's really playing."
Playing limited minutes can be hard for Frisby to take, but he has handled the situation the only way he knows how -- with character.
"Sometimes I get mad for a little bit but then I think, 'I have control over what I do,'" Frisby said. "As a senior, a captain and as a athlete, stuff isn't just going to be handed to you. You have to work for it."